High Stakes
by NanaBC
Summary: Joey confessed; Kaiba has a proposition. Something strange is going on. Will you uncover the mystery before they can? Kaiba x Joey yaoi. Changing the rating for a while, since it's pretty tame so far. It will go up though, be warned...
1. Let the game begin

**Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. I'm not making any profit with this, other than my own satisfaction. Yusei and Jack approve of that. Crow and Kiryu had nothing to say.**

**As I post this, it's October 25th, so happy birthday, my beloved Seto Kaiba!**

**Rated M for male-on-male action! Yeah baby! Oh, and language.**

**I don't have a specific date for the story to happen; it's just ****_after Duellist Kingdom_****.**

**By the way, this is a multi-chapter!**

Summary 1: Joey confessed, Kaiba has a proposition. Something strange is going on. Will you uncover the mystery before they can?

Summary 2: It starts out as your typical "Joey likes Kaiba, can Kaiba like him back?" story. Then there's an unexpected turn of events. How unexpected? Well, you'll just have to read it and see for yourself.

(I wrote two summaries because I have no idea how to summarize this story without giving anything up. They ended up saying basically the same thing, so… er… sorry!)

**High Stakes**

**1. Let the game begin**

"Can you explain why you felt the need to come bother me in my own house?"

"Umm… well, you haven't gone to school in a while. Everyone is worried, and…"

"If you came here to lie to my face, you might as well leave."

"Okay. Okay. _I_ was worried."

Seto Kaiba smirked disdainfully. "Right. Whatever. And I'm supposed to explain myself to you because…?"

"Well…" Joey Wheeler closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "If you weren't such a dick all the time maybe you'd realise that I like you. That's why I was worried." _Hoo boy, I said it._

Kaiba examined the boy in front of him, feeling almost disgusted by the obvious lie. At least that's what he thought it was at first, but looking at something he took from his pocket, he was shocked to find out Joey wasn't lying.

The shock lasted for almost two seconds, and then he recomposed himself. "Go away. I'm too busy with work and I don't have time for things like school. Or… you."

Joey was surprised; that went better than he expected. Kaiba actually answered why he wasn't going to school, and they didn't fight to the death after his confession. He stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, thanks for seeing me anyway."

When he heard the front door closing, Kaiba rubbed his temples and returned to the project in his lab that was taking all of his time, not thinking once about the boy who had just confessed to him.

oOo

**_A week later_**

The phone rang and Joey woke up with a jump. He ran to answer it before his father would wake up and bitch about it. "What."

"Come to my house."

"Kaiba? It's…" He glanced at the clock on the wall. "…one-thirty-six in the morning."

"If you want me to answer you for the other day, come now." The line went dead, and Joey just stood there, bamboozled. As soon as his brain started working again, he dashed to the bathroom to wash up and get ready, while reassuring himself that what just happened hadn't been a vivid dream or something.

On the way to Kaiba's house, he thought back to Duellist Kingdom, when his crush on the other first showed up and punched him in the face. He knew Kaiba was a prick, if the way he treated Yugi and grandpa was any indication, but he couldn't help being attracted by that jerkass side of his. It reminded him a little of who he used to be before he started hanging out with Yugi. And if they were even a tiny bit alike, Joey knew part of it was just a façade.

Well, and the fact that he was insanely hot also counted too.

He was in denial at first, insisting he had only eyes for that Mai chick who had showed up out of nowhere, with her big boobs and bad personality; that's what made her interesting to him in the first place (the bad personality, not the big boobs), but then he started having some weird dreams about Kaiba, and he'd wake up way too many times having to come up with an excuse to run to a secluded place and… take care of himself.

There was no way around it, between the girl and the boy, the one he was attracted to was definitely the boy. That part didn't really bother him when he stopped to think about it; what bothered him was that it couldn't have been any ordinary boy; it had to be that bastard Seto Kaiba.

Arriving at said bastard's house, he took a deep breath and rung the intercom.

oOo

They sat in the same meeting room from the previous time. Kaiba was wearing a red shirt. Red. That in itself was pretty weird already, considering Joey was used to seeing him only in dark, gloomy colours, but the fact that he had also chosen a red t-shirt before leaving his house that night made things feel even weirder than they should.

He cleared his throat, since Kaiba wasn't saying anything. "I like your taste in clothing."

"Can you say it again?"

"I like your taste in…"

Kaiba snorted. "Not that."

Joey blushed and stared at his hands. "Right. I… I like you."

"Are you in love with me?"

"Well… yeah."

"Are you sure of that?"

The third degree was starting to burn. "I came here, didn't I?"

"What, do you think it's easy to believe something like that?"

"Why wouldn't it be? You're super hot and smart; you probably have to beat people off you with a stick."

"I'm also a dick, remember? Having people wanting to fuck me is different than having someone liking me. And you, of all people. What's next, Yugi sucking at Duel Monsters? That pointy-haired friend of yours doing something useful?"

Joey coughed embarrassed and got up to sit closer to Kaiba. "I ain't bullshitting you. And I wouldn't put up with your assholery just because of your… good looks. I guess… despite you being a jerk and all, I kinda like your personality." _I wonder what that says about myself._

Kaiba smiled amused, crossing his arms. "Gee, thanks. Are you going to compliment me some more or can I release the hounds yet?"

Joey smiled as well. "Sorry. But it's true, you know."

"And here I thought we had established a nice hate/hate relationship. Didn't I humiliate you in front of all your friends?"

"Eh… not really. It's not a humiliation losing to someone like you. You and Yugi are the best duellists I know."

"And what makes you think I would even consider?"

"Well… I know I'm just a Joey Wheeler, while you're _the_ Seto Kaiba. But I'm not the type to just stand there and do nothing when there's something I want. I go after it, no matter what it is. You can consider that I got balls for starters."

Kaiba seriously looked like he was holding back laughter. "Yeah, that much was a given, seeing as you're not exactly a lady."

Joey's face matched his shirt. "Ehh… that came out real wrong. I uh, I meant to say that I got guts. Yeah, that's better."

Kaiba studied the boy in front of him and finally decided to say what had been on his mind. "Right… okay. I told you to come here because I would answer you. The truth is… I don't feel the same way."

Joey paled, unsure of what to say.

"But I do have a proposition. Would you like to hear it?"

"S-sure." _What have I got to lose?_

"It's really simple. Make me fall in love with you."

"W-what?"

"You're not up for it? Or isn't it worth it?"

"No, I… this is… well, I wasn't expecting you'd say something like that, it's kinda out of the blue."

"Out of the blue? More than your confession? And that was _not_ the best way to confess to someone, by the way. Though I did think about it for a week. Do you want a week to think about it too?"

"No, no. I don't need a week. I'll… I'll do it. I'll make you fall in love with me."

Kaiba rested his head on one hand, with his elbow on the table, displaying a Cheshire cat grin. "I can't wait."

Joey gulped, hoping his cluelessness wasn't showing too much.

"S-so, um… that Blue Eyes White Dragon, huh? It's like, pretty strong. And cool."

"I'm wasting my time, aren't I?"

"No! I can come up with something better. I know! What would _you_ do if you had to get someone to like you?"

Kaiba threw his hands behind his head and yawned. "Nothing. Or be an asshole, apparently. I'm sure you're at least smart enough not to try that on me."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin."

Kaiba laughed, startling Joey with the unusual sound.

"Of course you wouldn't." He got up and opened the door. "I'm going to bed now. You can stay here for the night if you want to. It's late, and I wouldn't want my favourite suitor to be attacked by a villain or anything like that. All the rooms in the west wing of the first floor are unoccupied."

"Okay. Wait, what?" But Kaiba had left the room already.

TBC

**_+ Next chapter after I get 10 reviews. LOL, j/k. Who does that? Next chapter in like 4 or 5 days._**


	2. Make me fall in love with you

**2. ****_Make me fall in love with you,_**** said the spider to the fly**

Most days after school, Joey would go back to Kaiba's house and try whatever he thought it would help to make Kaiba interested in him. He tried to beat him in a duel, but that wasn't happening any time soon. He tried complimenting him, but Kaiba would only answer to his flatteries with a bored look that translated to, "Well, duh". He tried asking about Kaiba to the servants to try and get to know him better but… there weren't any servants. The mansion was fully automated. Kaiba said it was because he didn't trust anyone. The only people he occasionally saw besides Mokuba were that guy Roland and the… other guy. He wasn't sure what his name was.

_I'm gonna call him… Arnold._

They said they would try to help him as best as they could, but…

"How do I get Kaiba to like me?"

"Hmm… I don't think it's possible for Mr. Kaiba to like anyone except his brother."

"Yes. The only person Mr. Kaiba likes is Mr. Mokuba."

"Oh, but there's also the Blue Eyes."

"I know! Why don't you try dressing up as the Blue Eyes?"

They both laughed like that was the funniest joke in the book.

Joey rolled his eyes. "Great. Thanks, guys." _How many times do I have to say I'm not a furry?_

It seemed like a lost battle, and Mokuba wouldn't stop mocking him for it, but he never gave up without a fight.

"Why are you doing something so pathetic, Joey? I thought you were smarter than that."

"Kid, you got your brother's big mouth, you know that? Besides, it was his idea."

"Thanks. His idea or not, you're wasting your time."

"How do you know? I doubt anyone's ever tried (and survived) before."

"I just know my brother. He likes romance even less than he likes Yugi."

"Oh, then I'm in _real_ trouble."

Mokuba laughed and excused himself. Joey knew he was probably right, but it couldn't hurt to try, could it?

He saw something small moving outside in the garden and decided to go check it out.

oOo

Mokuba knocked on the door to his brother's room and was asked to enter. He found him sitting on the windowsill with his laptop.

"Hey Seto. Roland left with the projects. Are you planning something else?"

"Yeah, but it'll take a while. Tell him that next time you see him."

"Okay. And… you're gonna tell me why you are doing this?"

"What, the thing with Wheeler? I was bored and thought it would be fun."

"I knew it would be something like that. So…"

"So what?"

"So why are you staring at him like that? You've been watching him ever since I got here. What is he doing anyway?"

From the window they could see Joey running around in the garden, apparently chasing after a small animal, possibly a mole. Shirtless. It was hot, after all.

"…Don't you have homework to do or something?"

"Oh, come on, big brother! Tell me—"

"Mokuba, you either leave right now or I'll start calling you 'Mokie' like when we were kids."

"Aahh no! Anything but that! Okay, okay. I'm leaving."

When the door closed, Kaiba immediately returned his attention to Joey. _Stupid sexy idiot_.

oOo

Joey returned from his confrontation with the mole and lay on the couch, tired and again properly dressed. He had asked his friends for tips (about Kaiba, not the mole), but they were just as clueless as he was. Except Mai, who told him to wear revealing clothes and spray his cards with perfume. Right. That helped even less than Tristan. And Tristan's suggestion was to get himself committed to an insane asylum. He considered that one for a moment. He _had_ to be crazy to be in love with Seto Kaiba.

He changed his position, sitting upside down on the couch now, and closed his eyes. Kaiba entered the room, silent as a cat and stared at Joey for a while. His t-shirt had slid, and bunched on his chest because of his position. Kaiba stared some more before making his presence known.

"Feeling pretty comfortable, are we?"

Joey fell on his head and sat up straight. "Oh, hey Kaiba. I thought you'd be working late again today. Since you gave me free rein over your kitchen and it's so hot today, I made some parfaits. I was gonna bring one to you but I couldn't find you. They're in the fridge if you want."

Without a word, Kaiba went to the refrigerator to retrieve a dessert, returned and sat across him in the living-room. It tasted better than the ones he got at his favourite restaurant. "It's delicious. Thanks."

Joey stared at the person in front of him and decided to stay quiet. If something had possessed Kaiba to make him compliment and say thanks, he wouldn't mess with it.

"Have you ever dated anyone before?"

_Out of the blue_ seemed to be Kaiba's favourite modus operandi, and his questions were never easy to answer. It seemed like he went out of his way to make Joey uncomfortable.

"Er… not exactly. A girl blackmailed me into going out with her with some fake dirty pictures, but I caught her cheating on a test and that was the end of it."

"Did you two do anything?"

"Of course not! I want distance from that psycho."

"Because she's a psycho or because she's a she?"

"Because… because…" He mumbled something and Kaiba asked him to repeat. "Because she ain't you."

"Oh. Good answer." He continued eating while looking at Joey for most of the time. To his credit, Joey did his best to hold the burning stare as much as he could.

The whole thing felt weird. It was as if Kaiba was the one seducing him, licking the spoon and nibbling on the berries like that. He didn't remember Kaiba being that sexy before. He was hot, sure, but he never did sexy things.

"Don't drool on my couch. If you wanted some, you should ask."

"S-sorry. Didn't realise I was staring."

"So…" He raised an eyebrow. "…do you want some?"

Joey could hear alarms going out in his mind, warning him that couldn't possibly be the Kaiba he knew, he had probably been substituted by an alien when he wasn't looking; it was the invasion of the sexy body snatchers!

He held the spoon to Joey, probably willing it not to drip with his mental alien powers. Joey took it, but he couldn't taste anything. The idea of an indirect kiss numbed him for a moment, and he couldn't even remember his own name. When he gave the spoon back, he was red from head to toe.

Kaiba finished the dessert holding back a smile. He was starting to consider taking things a little further, but torturing Joey was way too fun. He got up and ran a finger next to Joey's lips, where some whipped cream lingered from the other's previous clumsiness, and took it to his mouth.

"Thanks for the treat."

He left before Joey could recover from this final torment.

TBC

**_Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows, everyone!_**

**_As far as I know, the guy who's always hanging around with Roland doesn't have a name in the English version, the poor thing. So I dubbed him Arnold. Get it? Roland… Arnold… Ignore me! Or you could always call them Gruber und Hans, I guess. Roland's name in the Japanese version is Isono, by the way, while the other guy is Fuguta._**

**_One more thing: bare with me on the OOCness that's about to come, it'll soon make sense._**

**_~Alternate dialogue~_**

"Because she's a psycho or because she's a she?"

"Kaiba, if I didn't like psychos, I wouldn't be in love with you."

"…Touché."


	3. In which that one word is repeated a lot

**3. In which that one word is repeated a lot…**

After the obviously successful experience with the parfait, Joey continued making desserts and any other food that he thought counted as sensual. He even read a book about it. Oysters, asparagus; even eggs were on the list. Kaiba would always eat everything he made innocently licking his lips and moaning discreetly. He could be the poster boy for the expression 'orgasmically delicious', if such expression existed.

One day Joey accidentally dropped a whole pan of sauce on himself while distracted by a Kaiba walking around in an open shirt. To his luck, he had just lit the fire a few minutes ago, so the sauce wasn't that hot yet. But he still needed a bath. Kaiba called him a useless idiot and even yelled a little about his kitchen floor being all sticky now, but the way he was looking at him after he took off his dirty shirt left him unsure as to whether Kaiba was hungry for the sauce or… Maybe he should drop food on himself more often.

Kaiba lent him some clothes and he took a shower, while happily singing a song about rabid wolverines in his underwear. The fact that he was completely off-key didn't bother him in the least. Kaiba passed by the door and listened to the crazy song, wondering if the weird lyrics were the only thing that was making him smile.

Later that night after dinner, Kaiba sat beside Joey on the couch, instead of across from him like he always did. He crossed his hands behind his head and put his feet on the centre table. "You're very naïve, aren't you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, while I do appreciate the meals, I figured by now you'd be trying something else."

"W-what do you mean?"

"I mean… something more physical."

Joey could feel cold sweat running down his back. "Oh. I… I didn't think you'd let me."

"Why don't you try?"

And then Joey's head exploded. But not really. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak; he was wondering if he had been hit by a tranquilizing dart, when things started to fade around him.

The last thing he wondered before he passed out was since when was he that weak.

oOo

From somewhere far away, he could hear a voice telling him to get up slowly, or he would pass out again. Suddenly there was a glass of water in front of him, and somehow he was drinking from it.

"Wh…"

"It's okay, you don't have to push yourself." Joey felt an arm around him, and a hand lazily drawing circles on his back.

"Gah! Wh-what happened?"

"The only explanation I can think of is that you got way too excited by what I said. I didn't know I was that good."

"Huh. Me neither."

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Good. But if you're going to pass out with every little innocent thing I say, then forget the whole deal. That's just… weird."

"No, no, I'm fine. Embarrassed out of my wits, but fine. And to prove…" He released himself from Kaiba's more-or-less embrace, looked him in the eye and kissed him.

On the cheek.

Kaiba was paralyzed, with a blank expression.

"Oh good. Now you're the one who's acting strange." That broke the spell, and Kaiba looked at him with a flabbergasted expression. There was no other way to describe it; he was flabbergasted.

"You—you— why did you do that?!"

"Wha—"

"I have no idea why you decided being all cute today, but that's taking it too far! Just for your information, I don't like cute."

"Cute? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb! A kiss on the cheek? Who does that?"

Joey's face reddened and he lowered his voice and his head. "I… well… I… you didn't like it?"

_If he starts twiddling his fingers like Hinata, I'll punch him._ "Look, just stop with the cute thing farce. You think you're sly as a fox, huh? A… a c-cute fox like Shippo or something."

"But… but… I don't understand. I ain't…" He started putting the tips of his index fingers together but Kaiba grunted and slapped his hands. "Wait. You watch anime?"

Kaiba covered his eyes with one hand, ignoring the question and trying to find a way to understand what was going on. Not finding one because he was just as lost, he took Joey's face in his hands and kissed him. On the lips, of course. His tongue searched for entrance, but didn't find it.

"Open your mouth."

"I-I-I don't remember how to do that."

"You're _speaking_, idiot."

"Oh yeah."

Joey's light-headedness didn't cause him to pass out this time. Committing this moment to memory was more important than any faulty reaction he might have. Kaiba's assault on his mouth tasted like chocolate truffles, their dessert that night. If he didn't remember that for the rest of his life, he'd never forgive himself. He felt his face heating up, but that wouldn't stop him. Kaiba had one hand on his face while the other messed with his hair. He wasn't sure what to do with his, so he just put them around him.

Minutes later when Kaiba stopped, Joey kept his eyes closed for a moment, mesmerized by such a mind-boggling first kiss, but opened them when Kaiba accused him of being cute again.

"Aren't you an ex-gang member? Ex-gang members aren't supposed to be cute!"

"How do you know about that? And I keep telling you that I am not cute! I have lots of fight scars and… and… my hair's… greasy! Yeah! Because I don't use hair conditioner!"

Kaiba tussled the hair he was touching just moments ago. "It's softer than mine."

"Okay, you got me. I do use hair conditioner, and a bunch of other stuff. But how do you expect me to keep—hey! Does… does that mean that I… did it? You…"

"Please, Wheeler. Be slower."

"Uhh…"

"If you're asking if I'm in love with you, the answer's still no." Before Joey could add 'disappointed' to his arsenal of ridiculously cute faces, he continued: "But keep trying. It's not like I'm disliking this."

To make his point, he kissed him again, following him when he started to sink in the couch. The deeper the kiss got, the further Joey disappeared. Kaiba stopped with an annoyed look that was close to become his default expression that day.

"Is the couch eating you? Is that what's happening? I didn't know my couch ate people."

"I… no! You… you know I like you… I don't know why, but since before I fainted, I've been feeling real shy for some reason."

"Something's not right here. I know for a fact that you didn't used to be cute before. Kind of hot, yeah, but not cute."

"Right back at you. Only substitute cute with… sexy." _And kind of hot with freaking smoking hot. Bastard._

"Stay here. I wanna check on something."

"No, I'm coming with you."

"If you die, it's not my responsibility."

"Wh… what are going to do?!"

"Just… just stay here. I'll be right back."

"Don't say that! It's a jinx!" _Doesn't he watch horror movies?_

"Oh, shut up."

Kaiba left the room and disappeared through a door Joey had never noticed before.

"Huh. Has that always been there?"

He tried the door knob, but it was locked. So he returned to the couch and sat, thinking about the past few minutes with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Hehehe. We're kissing now."

TBC

**_Joey's face: think Shuichi on the subway after Yuki kissed him for the first time in the Gravitation manga._**

**_On a funny note, try typing ''orgasmically" on Word. It'll be regarded as an incorrect word, but there'll be a suggestion to correct it. Read that suggestion and think about it. (Uh… if your Word doesn't work like mine, and you still didn't get it, just let me know and I'll tell you.)_**

**_~Omake~_**

Joey invited his friends to a party at the Kaiba mansion. Kaiba grabbed a piece of cake and sat on a corner.

Kaiba: *Munch munch* _Hmmm this stuff is delicious! _Hmm *licks lips* hmmm *nom nom nom* wow! *licks fingers* Ahhh~~

Duke stared with his mouth agape, while Joey brought him some soda.

Duke: I'll have what _he's_ having!


	4. And now for something completely diff

**4. And now for something completely different**

Joey felt cold hands covering his eyes. "Kaiba? What's going on? Where did you go?"

"Hush, Puppy."

_'Hush Puppy'? What the hell? Who the hell talks like this? I know he called me a mutt once, but that's taking it a little too far._ "Kaiba, are you feeling okay? Did you hit your head or something?"

Instead of answering, Kaiba kissed him, much more lewdly than before. But for some reason, Joey didn't feel the shyness he had felt previously. Not shyness this time; just an alarming uneasiness. And Kaiba tasted different. He knew there shouldn't be any reason for it, but he couldn't help feeling an inexplicable sense of dread.

"Umm… so, did you find anything?"

"Nope, nothing. Anyway, why don't we move to the bedroom?"

Okay, so maybe he would have to impose a limit on that out-of-the-blueness thing. "Eeeh!? B-but we just started—"

"Why waste time? Sooner or later we'll end up doing it anyway."

"Yeah, but… I don't know. Something is wrong. What's in there?" He motioned to the strange door.

"Irish elevator."

"Wha…? And why did you change clothes?"

"Puppy, Puppy, Puppy. You never shut up, do you?"

"What? Kaib—"

And then the world turned dark. Again.

oOo

"Wheeler, Wheeler. Are you returning to Oz? Doesn't matter, you'll always be a puppy to me."

"Wha… Kaiba?" No. Not exactly. The person in front of him looked just like Kaiba, albeit with different clothes than what he had on earlier that day. He was wearing a posh pinstripe suit without a tie, but it looked old and dirty, and even ripped on some places. He was also barefoot. But the weirdest thing about this Kaiba was his eyes. They looked a little… insane.

"I can't decide whether you should live or die…" The not-exactly-Kaiba did a little dance around him.

"Wh-what are you saying…?" Joey tried to move but found his limbs were heavy as lead, and he was pretty sure it wasn't some random bout of cowardice this time. He could smell something that reminded him of chloroform.

"Oh, you'll probably go to heaven… please don't hang your head and cry."

"Who are you? Why do you look like Kaiba?"

"What do you prefer, to be thrown in a lake or to eat poisoned birthday cake?"

"HEL—"

The insane Kaiba covered Joey's lips with his own to conceal the scream, while closing both hands around his neck.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Or did you think I was joking just then? If you value your life then shut the hell up. Didn't you say you loved me?"

"You… you ain't him!"

"No. I'm an evil clone."

"R-really?"

"Hmm… no. I'm his evil twin. How about that? No, I got it! I am the embodiment of his cravings and desires… hmmm, yeah, let's go with that one."

"What? What do you want? Where's Kaiba?"

"I killed him."

All blood drained from Joey's face.

"Just kidding. He's probably just passed out. I can't really kill him right now. As for what I want… how about some… fun?"

Joey was speechless. Was he really at the mercy of that… that thing?

"What if I don't want to?"

"Well, puppy-eyes. I said I can't kill the Nice Me, but I can hurt him."

Joey closed his eyes and gulped. "Don't… don't you do anything to him. What… do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking we should start simple, some bondage and… toys. For you, of course. Then… we'll see."

Joey felt his whole body start trembling. This couldn't be happening. He had to get away from this situation somehow.

"I can't move."

"Well, I don't want you moving anyway. The effect will wear off in a few minutes. See how you woke up in a matter of seconds?" He pointed to a bottle with a clear liquid and a rag. "This mostly numbs your body… thought that doesn't mean you won't feel anything." He smiled sadistically. "But I think I'll tie you up right now. I know how feisty you are." He looked behind him and eyed the curtain cord. "Ah, this will be perfect."

While he busied himself trying to rip it off, Joey caught a glimpse of something moving on the other side of the room. Kaiba? Or maybe Mokuba? If it was Mokuba he should try to warn him to get out and get help. But how?

He managed to turn his neck a little and saw that it really was Kaiba, who made a shushing gesture and hid behind a column. Joey was washed with relief. He decided to call attention to himself, to help Kaiba avoid being seen by the crazy one.

"So er… where did you really come from, uh… _yami_ Kaiba?"

"Yummy Kaiba? Why, thank you. I see you're more comfortable with me, that's good. I'll try to be gentle."

Joey sweat-dropped. "No, that ain't what I… never mind. What should I call you?"

Insane-Kaiba turned around with the cord on his hands and a demented grin on his face. "Call me… Master."

"Wh… seriously?"

"Is your hearing impaired?" He grabbed a switchblade from his pocket. "Let me fix that for you."

"No-no-no! Sorry, Master."

"That's better." He looked from the blade to the cord a couple of times. "Huh." He shrugged and put it back in his pocket. "And where did I come from? What do you think?" He began to tie Joey up.

"I don't know. Silent Hill? Hell? Space? The Shadow Realm?" _Heh, yeah right._

"I guess… somewhere in-between. I slid here with the help of the Nice Me himself. Not that he knew this was going to happen."

"You _slid_ here? What does that mean?"

"It means, you silly, silly puppy, that I came from another dimension. Oh, and you're dead there, by the way."

"I'm… I'm dead? Why? How?"

**_"I killed you because you wouldn't stop asking stupid questions!"_**

As soon as he finished frightening Joey out of his skull, the real Kaiba came up from behind him and bashed him on the head with a mallet. The crazy Kaiba was out cold.

"_Nice Me_ my ass. Are you hurt? Did he do anything?" He quickly began to untie Joey.

"Other than sticking his slimy tongue in my mouth and killing me in his, uh… dimension, nothing much." Joey was glad to find that he could move his limbs again. The thing the other had used to knock him out had worn off.

"Bastard!" Kaiba kicked his fallen doppelganger. Twice.

"What's going on, Kaiba? Why's there another you here?"

"I'm not sure. I guess it's kind of a long story that I don't even know how to explain. Oh, and don't worry, he was lying; he didn't kill you. That… sounded really weird." He looked from the cord on his hand to the ripped curtain with a comically sad expression and began to tie up the lunatic.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

He retrieved a flash drive-sized gadget from his pocket and showed it to Joey. "Lie detector. I made it myself."

"Oh, wow. Cool! Um… did… did you use it when I said that I liked you?"

"…The first time. Even though I thought it was an obvious lie."

"Why not the second? You kept asking lots of questions."

"Well, I knew it already, didn't I?" Kaiba had a strange expression, almost as if he were embarrassed. Almost. It only lasted a second but Joey managed to catch a glimpse of it. "I just asked all those questions to see if you were serious. And I'd rather be the judge of that instead of relying on a machine."

"Oh. So, were you satisfied with what I said then?"

Kaiba smirked with that same strange expression. "You wouldn't be here right now if I weren't."

Joey thought about exploding with happiness right then, but he decided staying alive was a lot more fun.

When Kaiba finished, they carried the crazy boy to a cupboard and locked him there.

"Now follow me."

TBC

**_Mwahahahah I don't really like that whole "puppy" deal, that's why I gave it to Krazy!Kaiba. But hey, it's cool if you like it, man. I'm not judging. Most people do, anyways ¬_¬ _**

**_Have you ever heard the awesome song Krazy!Kaiba was quoting? It's "I Can't Decide", by the Scissor Sisters. If you haven't yet, go check it out!_**

**_Umm… so where's Mokuba anyway? I've lost count of times he shows up in stories and suddenly vanishes… never to be discovered again._**

**_Just to make it clear, this was the first appearance of Krazy!Kaiba. All the other times it was the regular Kaiba, no matter how sexily out-of-character he was behaving._**


	5. Domestic Violence

**5. Domestic violence**

"What is this place? Did we really go through a magic door?"

"That door has a perception filter that makes it kind of… unnoticeable, unless you know it's there. And this is my secret lab."

All around them there were incredible machineries that Joey had no idea what they were. On a corner he saw something that resembled the body of a motorcycle with a Duel Disk linked to it. It looked… silly. On another, there were things that seemed to have come out of a horror movie. Joey decided not to get close to that corner. "Awesome! You're like a mad scientist!"

Kaiba scowled and hit his head lightly with a spanner.

"Ow! S-sorry. Not 'mad'. How about 'brilliant'?"

"That's better." He picked up an oval object that looked like it came straight out of a sci-fi show from the 80s. "The bastard was using this device to… well, I don't see a better way to explain other than 'disrupt our senses'." He let Joey examine the gadget, warning him sternly not to turn it on. It had a dial that could be set to Shy, Sexy, Polite, and… Cute. 'The Moe Machine of Dreams' was scribbled on it. "And I'm willing to bet that he created it himself. He _is_ a version of me."

"So… he's evil-genius-you?"

"No. I'm evil-genius-me. _He's_ the mad scientist."

"Oh, right, that makes more sense."

"I was working on something that would make the holograms from the Duel Disk more realistic, but I started picking interference waves on my machine that were coming literally from nowhere. Then there was an explosion that knocked me out. When I came to, there was smoke everywhere. I guess that's when he crossed—"

"He said he slid."

Kaiba hit him with the spanner again. "That's when he crossed to this world. I'm guessing he used another device with the same frequency that connected to my machine and used it as a jump start to… oh, shit!"

"Kaiba? What's wrong?"

When Kaiba reached the cupboard, he found it empty.

He wielded the mallet. "Stay close to me, Wheeler. He could still be here."

"Okay. By the way, where's Mokuba? Haven't seen him around."

"When I started feeling that something was wrong, I sent him some place safe. And this was days ago. Poor little brother. His absence wasn't even noticed."

"Hey, sorry alright, I had my, uh, senses disrupted and shit. But I'm glad he ain't here right now. Heeey, what about me? I've been on and off your house for most of the time!"

"Aren't you big enough to take care of yourself?"

Joey pouted, mumbling things like "caught by surprise" and "almost raped by a homicidal maniac". Kaiba passed an arm around his neck and pulled him close.

"Idiot. I'm here aren't I? If there's anything you can't take care of, I can. And vice-versa." He mumbled that last part, but Joey still heard it. He blushed, pleased with the display of affection and the confidence Kaiba suddenly showed in him. They were okay. He and Kaiba would handle everything. And Kaiba would show that creepy copy who was boss. Kaiba… was leaning heavily on him.

"Hey, um, Kaiba? Not for nothing, but you ain't as light as you look. As much as I'm enjoying this, you should let go before we both fall down." He barely finished talking and Kaiba fell on top of him.

"Gah! Hey Kaiba! What's—" He lifted the hand he had on Kaiba's hair. It was red with blood. "Oooh shit."

oOo

Joey managed to half-carry-half-drag him to his favourite couch, but what should he do? He knew next to nothing about first-aid. If he left to find help, the other could come back and… do more evil things.

There weren't phones anywhere near them. He could run to the kitchen and get some ice. Could he do it fast enough? He hoped so.

He made it to the freezer and back in 9 seconds. Picking up a pillow in the nearest couch, he ripped the case off and combined it with the ice to use as a makeshift icepack. The injury on Kaiba's head had stopped bleeding, so he applied the 'icepack' and waited for him to wake up, holding his injured head on his lap. A few minutes passed until he felt him starting to stir.

"Why did… everyone feel the need to destroy my living-room today?"

"You're awake! Does it hurt? Do you wanna go to the hospital?"

"No… just get me an aspirin."

Knowing the mansion like the back of his hand already, Joey found the medicine cabinet and returned with the aspirin and a glass of water in no time.

"I didn't see him anywhere. Do you think he's still around?"

"No. He probably returned to his world. But that doesn't mean he won't come back. I wonder how long he's been messing with our heads with that thing."

"Yeah, that's fucked up. What do you think he wanted?" _Aside from molesting me, that is._

"It can't be anything good."

"What happened to you anyway?"

"I went in the lab then because I had my suspicions about something like this. Well, not _exactly_ like this, but I knew there was something muddling my head, then you started with all that weird adorable shit and I saw it wasn't just me. I knew whatever it was, it was coming from there. He ambushed me and hit me with that mallet. I pretended to fall unconscious and… the rest is history. But I was stupid enough to forget to search him. And to notice that if I could withstand a blow from that thing, then so could he."

"It ain't your fault, you _had_ just been hit on the head."

"And you didn't think of it either."

"Well excuse me for defending you! Oh, but I did forget he had a blade. My bad. I got nervous with what had happened, and—"

Kaiba punched his arm lightly. "Don't worry about it too much, idiot. At least he's gone for now."

"Yeah. Wait. Holy shit, you wanted to make the holograms even more realistic?"

"…You're the slowest person I know. Seriously. But… I do prefer you like that; if I wanted cute, I'd go out with… I don't know, Bakura."

"Oh yeah? Well… if I wanted sexy, I'd go out with… Duke!"

"Hn, I've dated Devlin. He was really good with his hands."

"Y…WHAT?! Hey! That ain't… that ain't really… where's that lie detector? You're lying, right Kaiba? Kaiba? Kaiba tell me you're lying!" Kaiba hid the lie detector in his underwear. The screen displayed the word _Lie_.

"Forget about that. Besides… if he can create a dimension crossing machine, so can I."

TBC

**_From the TARDIS wikia: _****Perception filters had the effect of directing attention away from the object or its bearer, rendering them unnoticeable.****_ So yeah, it's a secret door in plain view._**

**_So… is it a lie that he dated Duke or that he was good with his hands? I guess we'll never know…_**

**_Can anyone guess why I had Kaiba hitting Joey specifically with a spanner? It's kind of a vague and obscure reference, if you find out, you're the bee's knees :) (I love old expressions~)_**

**_And that's how you get rid of Mokuba :D just throw him in a safe-house somewhere._**

**_Techno babble much?_**

**"Why is the TARDIS bigger inside than outside?" **

**"Because it's dimensionally transcendental." **

**"What does that mean?" **

**"It means that it's bigger inside than out."**

**- Jo and the Third Doctor -**


	6. Children's Card Games Not!

_**A.N. - Heh, didn't think anyone would guess the spanner thing anyways. Here's my motivations: simply because Kaiba and a guy called Spanner from K.H. Reborn share a voice actor, Kenjiro Tsuda, he sounds fucking sexy, and I freaking love his voice. Derp-de-doo~ **_

**6. Children's card game. Not!**

"Man, just rest for a while. You've been working non-stop for two days!"

"Forget it. I won't rest until I one-up that fucker."

"But… but he's insane! Bars-in-the-window crazy! Can you really think like an insane person?"

"He's crazy and I'm not, which means he's at a disadvantage. That just makes it even easier."

"Agh, alright, whatever you say. I can't keep up with all this. I'm going home 'cause I got like two weeks' worth of homework to do."

"Come here first. I wanna show you something."

"What is it?"

As soon as Joey approached him, Kaiba kissed him for a couple of minutes, tongue curling and twisting around his with a sultriness that made his knees go weak. "Never mind. Travel safe."

"Y-you too." He tripped on a wire on his way out but Kaiba was nice enough to pretend he didn't notice it.

oOo

**_Elsewhere_**

"Do you think the Master will take long? I have to go to the bathroom."

"Shh! He's coming."

The Master slowly descended the stairs of the Kaiba mansion with a glass of wine on one hand.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Any luck in finding our elusive friend?"

A short, spiky-haired boy spoke, while keeping his head down. "No yet, sir. But one of the night guards said he saw someone that looked like him a few days ago in the slums."

"Wonderful. Call him here if you would be so kind."

The boy left and returned with a taller person, his pointy hair made him look even taller. He kneeled in front of the Master. "Sir."

"So? You think you might have seen my little lost lamb then?"

"Yes sir. I followed him for some time, but then he entered a store and… vanished."

The Master frowned. "Couldn't he have left through the back door?"

"The problem is… there wasn't a back door. It was a small store, and I checked everywhere. But there was no sign of him"

The Master drank his wine while looking around pensively. "Alright. I want one person inside his room at all times and another guarding the door. Mr. Taylor, you did a nice job. Please go back to your post and continue to keep an eye out for him. As for the rest of you, ask Mr. Taylor the exact location the runaway was last seen and patrol that area." He addressed a handsome black-haired boy with green eyes. "Mr. Devlin, I need to see you in my chambers."

He made a small reverence with his head bowed. "Yes, Master Wheeler."

Master Joey Wheeler put the empty glass on a table and left, unaware that he was being watched by the one he was looking for.

_Enjoy being on the top while you can, "Master". I will put you back in your place soon enough. _A while later, after everyone left the room, insane-Seto Kaiba came out of the cupboard, starving and fuming in rage, and entered the secret lab.

oOo

As it turned out, building a dimension crossing machine wasn't exactly an easy task. Kaiba had disassembled the sense disruptor (he refused to call it 'The Moe Machine of Dreams') and examined it thoroughly to try and understand how the other Kaiba's mind worked. It hardly made any sense, and if his theory that there had to be some sort of machine on the other side that connected with this one, like his hologram projector did for the other was correct, then he was royally screwed. He made some notes on a whiteboard, sighed and slumped on a nearby chair.

"It took me almost a year to build it, you know. You expect to just figure it out in a couple of days?"

Kaiba jumped from the chair and picked up a blowtorch from the workbench. He pointed it at the crazy Kaiba. "Hands up!"

"Easy there, cowboy. I'm not here to fight." He raised his hands while trying for his most innocent smile.

"Put the knife and the dimension machine on the table." The crazy Kaiba did so and returned his hands in the air, while Kaiba took both objects and searched him. "Are you going to explain yourself or do I have to make you?"

"Ooh, kinky. I guess we're more similar than I thought. Anyway, I'm sure you heard me the other day when I explained where I came from. And the reason I came here in the first place is because I need your help."

Kaiba glared at him. "You need my help and you clocked me?!" _Not to mention how you abused my... guest._

"So I got a little nervous with the imminence of our first encounter. Plus I got jealous of you kissing him. Whenever I showed up, you were… playing, so I would always start watching (and secretly mess with you, as I'm sure you're aware by now) and forget what I was supposed to do. Hah, me and my voyeurism. I guess I kinda… missed the momentum. I'm somewhat losing focus of things these days. I'm starving. Do you have any food?"

"Some of those things are more than I wanted to know. And go back a little. You got jealous of… Wheeler?"

"In my world we share a… special connection. He's my dog."

"Wait." He picked up his lie detector and asked the other to continue after explaining what it was.

The crazy Kaiba pouted. "Oh, you're no fun. Fine. He's not my dog. But he used to be. We had a bet, winner takes all. He got my empire, my employees and well, me. As a dog. And by that, I mean sex slave. Normally I wouldn't mind anything that involves him, me and sex—"

"Again, too much information."

"…but the problem is that the dirty mutt cheated, and I don't admit cheaters. And I couldn't prove it. So the tables turned. I really am hungry."

"That's rough, buddy. And how did you even come up with this dimension crossing machine or whatever you call it?"

"There wasn't anyone that could help me with my predicaments in my world. After I thought long about it, I realised my only chance was to find someone as clever as me to help me. Since there is no such being, it was either try to find a parallel dimension or clone myself. Guess which of these was easier? And here's why you wouldn't be able to make one of these." He pointed to the machine. "Back in my world, there was a rare book written by a man named Adam Rooney. It told of different worlds and means to get to them, but it was so ridiculous that it was classified as fiction. It had some highly offensive stuff in it about most religions, so people burnt it by the dozens.

"I had nothing to lose, so I went after it, and after a long time, I managed to find what is probably the last copy. I tried everything in it. And after having shit blowing up in my face for about 80 times, here I am. And to make matters more dramatic, the last explosion burned up most of the book. I did save a few pages, but they're probably useless." He showed him the wrinkled and dirty pages he got from a pocket.

Kaiba took a quick look at them and set them aside. "Interesting. And what would stop me from trying it as well whenever I came across this book? And believe me, I would have."

"Simple. In your world, he died before writing the book. I checked."

"Hn. Okay. Whatever, I don't see why I should help you."

"C'mon, he needs to be dethroned! He doesn't deserve to be the Master."

"Speaking of which, what's with this 'Master' thing?"

"To put it simply, it's the title given to whoever controls the empire. It was my title, since I created it, and it was my empire."

"Empire of what?"

"Oh, didn't I say it? Cards."

_So we really are alike? _ "Your empire of… Duel Monsters?"

"Duel Monsters? What are you talking about? The whole world knows the Kaiba name is associated with the best game of all times: Poker."

TBC

**_Confused yet?_**

**_Krazy!Kaiba will be part of the story, and we shall call him something else to avoid confusion. You'll see what next chapter. The way he acts and talks has absolutely nothing to do with the actual Kaiba. Just think of him as a different character altogether, or you'll just drown in the OOCness. It's kind of like… well, if Kaiba cloned himself, the clone would most likely behave nothing like him, seeing as he didn't live his life and didn't have the same experiences. Like so, Krazy!Kaiba lived in a different world; the only things he has that are like Kaiba's are his face and name. Aaand… whichever other characters from that world that decide to show their faces in this humble little story can be treated like that as well. Thank you for your time. Have a good night._**


	7. Hoist by his own petard

_**A.N. Hey y'all. Things have been slow this week, huh. Reviews are like a fix for writers, y'know. Great, now I'm begging. Er, well, still, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!, I'm surprised to see so many fans sticking to it to this day. And I doubt it's just because of LK. Silly as it is, YGO still has its appeal, I guess. And I'm not one to be ungrateful, so thanks for taking the time to read this story, even if you can't find it in yourself to say something about it. Also I'm kinda drunk and will probably regret writing this. Meh.**_

_**Oh, and I'll probably start posting on AO3 too, maybe. I dunno, haven't checked out the YGO fandom there yet.**_

* * *

**7. Hoist by his own petard**

Joey looked at the school books in disgust. With all that was happening, he couldn't concentrate. Plus, doing homework really sucked. Screw it, he could always copy off Yugi or Tristan. Kaiba probably needed him; if he wasn't there to make sure he rested once in a while, he would definitely collapse eventually. He called him to check if he was home.

"Hey Kaiba, how you do—"

"Busy. Don't come here."

"Well, there's no need to be rude!" But Kaiba had hung up already. "Agh! Screw you. I'm going to Yug's."

oOo

"Why don't you just use that thing on him?" Kaiba pointed to the disassembled sense disruptor.

"I still cannot believe you dismantled my baby. That was totally uncalled for. Well, I couldn't make it with the settings I wanted. I did use it on him for a while the way it is, and it helped me to delay his… vengeance. But when he found out, he got even madder and had someone build him an immunity device. In the shape of a crown, no less. Man, does he think highly of himself. That's when I escaped and started living in the shitty slums, working on the Otherworldly Gadget of Dreams. Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

"I'm still not interested."

"But… don't you feel bad knowing somewhere Puppy, I mean, Wheeler has the advantage over you? That you're supposed to be his slave?"

_Puppy? What the hell?_ "Wasn't the situation the opposite before? Wasn't he your slave? If you ask me, I think you deserve it. Why can't you just have a normal relationship without this slave bullshit?"

"Where's the fun in that? And don't defend that dog. He's not exactly a little angel like yours. Besides, the term was his idea actually. Sort of. Well, not really, but it did come from him."

"You're really not making a good job in convincing me to help you. Let go of the slave deal and I'll think about it."

"Not happening."

"Then kindly fuck off. I'm too busy to deal with your psychotic nonsense."

The crazy Kaiba hit his fists on the workbench. "Don't you get it? If it's not like that, I…"

"You what?" But Kaiba had an idea of what he was going to say.

"If… if I don't force him, he won't be with me. He hates me. For some reason."

"For some reason? Look, I'm not gonna start giving out relationship advices out of nowhere because honestly, I don't have much experience myself, but you're really not making it any easier. I'd say the only thing you got going for you is your looks-"

"Oh, stop it, you." The crazy Kaiba gave him a lopsided smile.

"And at least for _my_ Wheeler that isn't enough." He immediately regretted saying _my Wheeler_, but what was done, was done. "I don't know if yours is anything remotely like him, but if you really want him, you gonna have to get off your high horse and actually do something."

"What did you do?"

"Well…" Kaiba couldn't reply for a few seconds. "…Nothing. But the situations are a little reversed here."

"Yeah? How so?"

"Er… he was the one who declared to me, and while knowing I was an asshole."

"Oh, so what you're saying is that I'm fucked. I'm not going to submit to him. It's either me in charge or nothing."

"It shouldn't be anyone in charge! Why can't you understand something so simple?" He sighed, feeling completely lost. "I'm guessing our worlds and circumstances are pretty different. I don't know you, I don't know him and I don't know what went on between you. But if whatever it is you were doing didn't work, maybe you should try something else."

"Like what? Like how to be a nice boy, don't handcuff him to the bed when he's mad, don't force him to screw when he's not in the mood and shit like that?"

Kaiba wrinkled his nose, trying to hide his dismay. "…That would be a start, yeah."

"That goes against my nature, but maybe it's worth a try. But I can't do that right now when he's the one after my ass. But you know, maybe you should let me practice on your Wheeler."

Kaiba grabbed him by the collar and spoke as calm and low as possible. "You're dead the second you touch him again."

But the intimidation didn't exactly work like he wanted. "You use that tone of voice on me again and I'll think about changing targets. I've always wondered what it would be like doing it with myself. I mean, I do like him, but we _are_ the hottest person in the universe." He licked his lips and winked.

Kaiba got close enough to touch noses and spitefully used the same tone as before. "I'd rather give all my money to charity."

"Ouch."

Joey chose this moment to burst through the door. "Hey Kaiba, I know you said you're busy but face it, you can't live without me anym—what the fuck! Why is the loony back here? And… are you cheating on me with him?" _And why do I find it disturbingly hot?!_

Kaiba let go of the other and stood between him and Joey, ready to at least knock him out if he made any sudden moves. "In his dreams. And didn't I tell you not to come here?"

"Yeah, but I was—"

"Puppy! You came back to see me again?"

Joey looked at him with a sneer, then stared at _his_ Kaiba. "You start calling me puppy too and I'm getting the fuck out of dodge."

"Not in this lifetime, loser."

"That's better. Wait. What did you mean by 'in his dreams'? Now he's after you too?"

Ignoring him, Kaiba went to look at his long-forgotten hologram projector just to have something to do. "Go make us some burgers, Wheeler."

"What? Who died and made you boss? _You_ go make burgers!"

"Alright, I'll go and you stay here with him."

"…On second thought, I think I'll go make us some burgers."

For both their sakes, Kaiba fought the urge to call him a 'good boy'. After Joey left, he turned his attention back to the other. "What kind of help do you even want from me anyway?"

"Time machine."

"Nope."

"It's gotta be a time machine."

"Look, even without that book I can see how a dimension machine is remotely feasible, but a time machine is nothing but fiction. Was this your whole plan? You don't sound all that clever to me."

"Well, I didn't say I thought it through. I mostly wanted to get out of there before they found me. And believe me, he can track like a hound. I think he's a crossbred or som—"

"Focus."

"Right. Our IQs together must surpass 500, I'm sure we can think of an infallible plan."

"How about you challenge him to a rematch?"

"When he won, it was already a rematch, and since I 'lost', I can't challenge him again, it's against the rules."

"What? What kind of moron created these rules?"

"Hey, shut up! Nobody can defeat me. I wouldn't even need a rematch if he hadn't cheated."

"How did he cheat anyway?"

"It's… really stupid."

"Yeah, like everything else. How?"

"Well, on a whim I let him use his own deck. It was the deck I had given him for his birthday, and I even had the dealer check it beforehand to see if he hadn't marked the cards, and there wasn't anything unusual. But the thing is… he sprayed the cards with perfume and memorised each smell."

"…"

"I know."

"How would that even work?!"

"Well, I keep calling him a dog, and he does have the nose for it."

Kaiba sighed, not trying to understand anymore. "…So, what are the rules then?"

"If the Master challenges you and you lose, you can have a rematch after one year. If you challenge and lose, there's no rematch. And like I said, the loser of a rematch can't challenge again. The loser works for the Master, and it's a perpetual contract; it's not that bad actually, there is a great health plan. Hmm… that or you just become his paramour, if he decides it so. If you win, you're the new Master. Simple as that. The only way I could go back to being Master is if he challenged me again. And well, he can be pretty dumb sometimes, but unfortunately not that dumb."

Kaiba had to think for a moment, to remember what 'paramour' meant and let everything sink in. "So I imagine you made these rules to get yourself a harem."

"That was the initial plan, yes, but unfortunately most people who ever dared challenge me weren't to my taste, so they were just made into regular employees, with the exception of Puppy, of course. I did occasionally challenge one or other hot piece of ass, but they were much too wusses to accept. Oh, but it was especially fun defeating that shrimp Muto."

"Y-you defeated Muto? Yugi Muto?"

"Well, yeah. He wasn't anything special, but that freaky hair of his pissed me off."

Kaiba had to concentrate or he would probably break something. So, he vowed to challenge Yugi to a game of Poker someday.

Joey returned with three burgers, gave one to Kaiba, put the other in front of the lunatic and stared unceremoniously at him.

"Did you poison mine, Puppy?"

"Of course not! You may have no qualms about killing someone but I do!"

"I see. So you spat in it."

"Wha—? Li-like I would do something that childish."

"Alright. Give me yours then."

Joey hesitated for a moment. "Okay, I spat in it."

The crazy Kaiba shook his head. "Bad, bad Puppy." He started eating the burger anyway.

"Hey, shut up, pal! Think I'll just forget what you did?" _And what you almost did. Ugh._

"Ah, I didn't mean any of what I said. And I wasn't really going to do anything to you."

"Yeah, right."

He bowed his head deeply. "Please accept my sincerest apologies, I was merely jesting."

Joey looked at him, almost swayed enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I mean, it's not like I brought my toys with me."

"…You're disgusting."

"Thanks. I try. Hey, you know how the Burger King got the Dairy Queen pregnant?"

"No. How?" He replied on a reflex.

"He forgot to wrap his whopper."

Joey tried to hold, he really did, but five seconds later he was laughing. "Man, that one sucked."

"No. If she had, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant." That did it. Joey laughed even harder.

Kaiba started to feel sick watching the interaction between them, but he'd sooner dye his own hair green before he admitted out loud he was jealous.

"So what the hell should we call you anyway? Calling you both Kaiba would just be confusing. And forget about that Master bullshit, it ain't happening."

"Why don't you just call your sweetheart by the first name?"

Joey turned beet red. "Well, t-that uh, that would… um… Kaiba would…" He looked at Kaiba, but he had his back turned and was messing with something on a shelf.

"Yeah, yeah, you're a shy little puppy, I get it." Kaiba said nothing, since he too wasn't crazy about the idea of calling Joey by the first name. "Well, I guess you could call me B., it was my nickname when I was a cute little boy."

"B.? As is Butthead?"

"As in Beautiful. Go ahead, say it's not true."

"Er…" Joey wasn't sure of what to say. Kaiba simply rolled his eyes.

"B., huh? Repeat your story to Wheeler; I have some emails to send." He grabbed his laptop and started typing non-stop, while B. filled Joey in on the story.

"Perfume, eh? Heard that one before."

B. stared creepily at him.

"Geez, blink, man. If you keep staring at me like that your eyes will dry out and fall from your head."

"Puppy, that doesn't even— never mind. Here's what I was thinking: how about we get you and _my_ Puppy to exchange places, so you would challenge me and lose on purpose? We wait until it's his sleepy-time, he won't even notice. Then we exchange you back and things go back to being perfect!"

"Man, that's a low plan."

B. looked puzzled. "…So?"

Kaiba crossed his arms, hesitant. "Do they speak and behave the same way?"

"Not even remotely. Why?"

"It wouldn't work out." He pointed at Joey. "This person can't act for shit, he'd be immediately found out."

Joey resented that comment. "What? How would you even know that?"

"Alright. Act."

"…Eh… but just like that, out of a sudden? Well… alright, here goes nothing."

He cleared his throat, got on one knee, looking at nothing apparently, with one hand over his chest and the other extended in front of him. "Oh, Romeo, Romeo. Where— uh… I don't really know the line."

"Juliet? Really? You could have at least chosen Hamlet."

"Hey, you didn't exactly give me time to prepare, you know!"

"Forget it. I remember you on school plays. You couldn't act even when you were cast as a rock. A static rock without any lines."

Joey was torn between being mad at Kaiba for not acknowledging his superb acting skills, or happy that he watched and remembered his plays. He chose the former.

"Listen, mister! I'll have you know I even got a trophy for a play once!"

"Oh yeah? What for?"

"I don't… I don't feel like telling you."

"It _was_ for Hamlet, wasn't it?

Joey lowered his head. "Yes."

"And it was a comic relief trophy, because you managed to transform _that_ into a comedy, wasn't it?"

His voice was barely audible. "Yes."

"I rest my case."

"Maybe you could act if you were cast as a dog, huh?" Joey slapped B. over the head. "Ow! Watch it, I have a bump there! Oh well, we'll think of something else."

Kaiba sighed, knowing there was no other way to get rid of that guy. "Here's something else. _I_ will challenge this Master."

TBC

_**+ "How about you challenge him to a rematch?"**_

_**"(…) it's against the rules."**_

_**"Screw the rules, I have money."**_

**_Tell me you weren't expecting that._**

**_And… did I just indirectly call Mai a bitch?_**

**_No, B. doesn't stand for Beautiful :) but it totally should~_**

**_Er… I'm always claiming that I know all there is to know about Yu-Gi-Oh(!) but I've been spelling Yugi's surname "Moto", when it's supposed to be "Muto". Oh well, blame it on 4Kids._**


	8. Duellist for Hire

_**A.N. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, every single part of my computer is being a little shit.**_

**8. Duellist for hire**

"Kaiba, do you even know how to play Poker?"

"No, but I've seen people playing it on westerns and whatnot, doesn't seem that difficult. Plus, I'll have the master as a teacher, won't I, _Master_?" He said the word as if it were an insult.

"What, you'll just beat him and pass the honours back to me out of the kindness of your heart?"

"That's the type of person I am. The nicest guy on the face of the planet."

Joey choked on the last bite of his burger. "Geez, Kaiba. I think your lie detector just exploded."

"What? I'm kindness personified." They looked at him, completely unconvinced. "Okay, I just want him gone, and I'll do whatever it takes." He stared at B. "You're not leaving us alone no matter what I do, will you?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so." They were in a room filled with all kinds of games. Kaiba got a deck of cards from a drawer and threw it at the crazy version of himself. "Alright, then. Make yourself useful."

"Yeah, yeah."

They spent the morning talking about Poker's rules and plays, while Joey accommodated himself on a sofa with a handheld. Kaiba got the basics pretty fast after they started playing it, but it would still be a while before he beat the other. When it came down to it, it was more of a luck-based game than Duel Monsters, but that didn't mean you could win without skill.

He stared at B. as he shuffled the deck, then averted his eyes annoyed when the other winked at him.

"Don't flatter yourself. It's just... this whole 'other me' deal is way too bizarre. Hn. Maybe Yugi isn't as full of shit as I thought. Though I still prefer to believe he's just bipolar."

B. Looked a little confused but that reminded him of something. "Speaking of which, what are we doing about your appearance? You can just go looking like me."

"I know. Maybe I could make some sort of holographic image altering device and…"

"There's no need for something so complicated. We could just wear disguises." Joey spoke without raising his eyes from his game.

"_We?_ Who said you were coming too?"

"Aw, c'mon. It's a different dimension, I wanna see it! The last time I was in another dimension, it was that video game world you made, plus I didn't get to go with my own body, and now I do. Also I wanna check out the other me!"

"Video game world, huh. You guys sure lead an interesting life here."

Kaiba suddenly remembered the outfit Joey wore back then and was glad he was sitting down behind a table. He cleared his throat before speaking in case his enthusiasm threatened to show up on his voice. "Alright, whatever. Search on the internet for a decent costumes store. And have them deliver whatever you buy today." He handed Joey his credit card and laptop. That entertained him for a while. He ordered several wigs and sunglasses from a cosplay website, and Kaiba's name assured him they would be delivered as soon as possible.

A few hours later, Joey answered the door and came back with several boxes and packages.

"I somehow knew you would buy the whole store. I just hope there's something decent in there."

"You bet there is. But first, check this out!"

He pulled out a long, white wig and put it on his head, making sure his left eye was covered, and spoke in an affected manner: "Do you wanna duel me, Kaiba-boy?"

Kaiba cringed. "You have a terrible sense of humour. Now I know why you laughed at his jokes. Take that off."

Joey took the Pegasus wig off, embarrassed. "Sorry. But I do have something that I think it would really look good on you." He opened a box that contained a shoulder-length silver wig, with nose-length bangs and showed it to Kaiba, who approved his taste this time.

Checking himself out in a mirror, Kaiba seemingly liked what he saw. He searched around the boxes, soon finding exactly what he was looking for: a pair of round blue shades. "Perfect. As for you…" Kaiba chose a wig that had caught his eye when he was searching for the shades. It was black, with short bangs, and it jutted upwards on the sides with blond highlights.

"That's some crazy taste you got."

"What are you talking about? You're the one who bought all these weird-ass shit. C'mon, put this on."

"Hey, I wanna play too!" B. tried every single item Joey had bought, just for fun, complaining that none of the items contributed to make him look even hotter.

"And add this for the finishing touch." Kaiba handed a pair of red aviators to Joey.

"Eh, they're cool, but they look kinda girly."

"…Seriously. _You_ chose them."

"Ah, I just thought they looked nice in the picture. Well, they do look nice, but…" He put them on anyway and B. whistled, immediately causing Kaiba to elbow him. "Okay. I'll stick with these, then."

After everything was chosen and put separately, Joey went back to the sofa, while the Kaibas resumed their Poker game.

"How are we going to solve the 'other' issue?" Kaiba remembered there was another thing to take care of.

"The cards?"

"Yeah. How will I get past the fact that they're all marked? To him, at least."

"Well, the deck I got him is pretty unique. Maybe we could try to find one just like it and exchange them before the duel. I bought it online. Try to check the website."

He told him the address, but the page apparently didn't exist in this world.

"Great." They browsed several card games websites, rarities and gifts pages, until they found the exact same deck at an auction page.

"A $600 bid for a freaking deck of cards. $1000 to buy it on the spot."

"Wow. I paid only $500 on mine."

"Holy shit, I don't think I've ever spent this much even in Duel Monsters cards (hah, who am I kidding, of course I have). Oh well, as long as they deliver it until tomorrow." He bought the ridiculously expensive deck, on the condition that it would be delivered within 24 hours.

It was well past midnight when they had decided to call it a day. Joey had been long sleeping slouched on the sofa. Kaiba shook his shoulder. "Hey, freeloader. Go to your house."

"Mmnncaann't… no keys…"

"Oh, that's nice. You were planning to sleep here this whole time, weren't you?" He got no response. "Well, you go back to your world then. Fuck, it's weird saying that."

"I can't. He has people looking for me all over the city. Few days ago, Taylor found my hideout."

"Then… I don't know. Just pick one of those wigs and—"

"Really, we can't risk ruining the plan so close to the climax. I like that word. Climax. Just let me stay here, I haven't slept on a bed in days. If I don't behave, you can… punish me."

"Right, because you so obviously hate being punished. And I'd sooner trust a random hobo before I trusted you. Not with him here." He glanced at Joey.

"C'mon, don't be an ass, ass!"

Kaiba sighed, somehow knowing it was useless discussing with a crazy counterpart of himself. "Alright, I'll just lock you in a room for the night then. And don't bother trying to escape and go looking for him 'cause he'll be with me."

"You just want all the fun to yourself, don't you? Ever heard of sharing?"

"Another word and you're sleeping outside."

"Yeah, yeah."

Kaiba locked him in a room and carried Joey to his own bedroom. Laying him on the bed, he went to his desk and turned on his laptop to study about Poker some more. Then he sent an email to Mokuba to tell him things would be over soon and he'd be able to come back. Even if the madman ended up being more docile than they anticipated, he wouldn't take any chances.

When his eyes got too tired of the brightness of the screen, he turned it off and got ready to sleep, momentarily halting when he looked at his bed. He had completely forgotten Joey was there.

_Doesn't mean anything. I'll just go to sleep like usual._ Joey snored lightly, but that didn't bother him. What did bother him five minutes later was Joey flinging his arms around him, still deeply immersed in sleep. _Wonderful_. He gently removed the other's arms from his neck and distanced himself. On his king-size bed there was a lot of room for both of them to sleep without the need of touching one another.

A couple of minutes went by and then Joey had his arms around him again.

_Godamnit._

He shook Joey awake. "Hey. Behave yourself."

"Gnnn? Where am I?"

"My room. The maniac had to stay here for the night and I didn't want to risk having him going after you."

"Aww. You jealous?"

"Well, if you don't mind being molested by him, you're free to sleep wherever you want. The key to his room is on the desk."

That didn't really do much to paint him in a less jealous colour, but he was too tired to care.

"No, no, no, you're right. It's safer here."

Kaiba wasn't so sure of that. "Just… stay on your side and mind your arms."

Joey had no idea why he sounded so tense, but decided not to push it. He still was pretty sleepy.

Eight minutes later, he was snoring with his arms by his head and a leg over Kaiba.

Kaiba sighed, getting up and finding a futon in the closet_. Idiot._

Not used to sleeping on the floor, it took a while for sleep to take him.

oOo

He woke up with a neck pain and Joey sleepily babbling something about killing birds with a hanger, went to the bathroom to take care of business, put on a black, long-sleeved coat over his also black turtleneck and pants, and then shook dreaming boy awake.

"Sleep well, princess?"

Joey yawned, stretching his arms with both middle fingers in the air. "Fuck off."

"Well, I did carry you here like a princess last night and you didn't even wake up."

"Er… I uh… I slept like a log, thank you. Hey, what does that even mean?"

"It means you sleep like a dead person, like a log after someone cut it from a tree. Because it's dead."

"Really?"

"No. I'm gonna go wake up the crazy one. Stay here and lock the door."

"'Kay. Wow! You look… wow." _Maybe I should dress-up too._

Kaiba's suspicions over the other were unfounded, as he was trying to behave his best to get the help he wanted. He went back to retrieve Joey and they had breakfast. To everyone's delight, the deck arrived while they were eating, and Kaiba promptly unpacked it and started to mess with it to make it look at least a little used.

Then they played some more Poker until Joey got bored.

"When are you planning to go defeat the other me?"

"Later today."

"What? But you just learned how to play yesterday."

"There are not that many secrets to the game. Besides, did you forget who you're talking to? I think I can handle a cheating loser like that."

"Alright. So when are we leaving?"

"We leave in three hours, after lunch. If you're not here by then, we'll go without you."

"Got it. See ya!" He slammed the door on his way out, causing Kaiba to snarl.

"And? Why do you look so pent up?"

"What? Where did you get that from?"

"Oh, you know you can't fool _me_. What is it? Blondie's not putting out?"

Kaiba sighed. "Do I really have to discuss this with you?"

B. looked around. "It seems you don't have many options. Where is everyone? My place is always full of people; I've barely ever seen anyone here."

"There isn't anyone, I don't like people. And…" He thought about how he should put it. "We're not… in the 'putting out' stage yet."

"What? What are you—"

"Don't interrupt me. Wheeler is… I don't know, too innocent or too naïve. It seems like he doesn't even thinks about these things."

He told B. the whole story.

"You're not even in love with him? That's rich. Give him to me then."

"Not in a million years. And I already told you, I'll end you the next time you even think about touching him. Stay here. I have to call the office. Don't… don't do anything I wouldn't."

"Yeah, yeah." B. smiled knowingly when the other left the room. "Who's the naïve one here? The way you talk, the way you look at him and you're not in love with him? Either you're blind or you're crazier than me."

**TBC**

**_Kaiba wants to know what love is. And he wants you to show him. But only if your name is Joey Wheeler._**

**_Come on, internet, would it kill you to make me a Yu-Gi-Oh! dress-up game? If I could, say, put Yusei's hair on Joey, or Kaiba's clothes on Astral I'd be such a happy kitten~_**

**_+ Joey's love for ridiculously shitty horror movies is a little headcanon of mine :3 which is weird because he's usually scared of monsters and stuff._**


	9. Notto disu shtto agen

_**A.N. Hey there, took me a long time again because I was on vacation, sorry. I have two chapters ready though, I'll post the next one tomorrow.**_

**9. Notto disu shitto agen**

"So you're not gonna bang him then?"

Kaiba sighed, throwing his hand at the table. "Can we please stop talking about this? Flush." He had won the current bet. He suspected B. wasn't really using all of his capabilities, but it didn't matter, so long as he could practice some more. "I'll do something when the time's right."

"When's that? When you're 64?"

"Why 64? 4 of a kind."

"Beatles. Straight Flush."

_Hn. At least his taste in music isn't bad._ "Fuck. Besides, he was the one supposed to be seducing me. It's been weeks, and if he didn't do anything until now, it's obvious he's clueless. Even without you screwing around with us."

"Face it, you're gonna have to take matters into your own hands. And I don't just mean when you're beating your meat. Even the first kiss was initiated by you. Oh yeah, but like you said, back then I was spamming _cute_ and _shy _on my moe machine like crazy. Sooo… kinda my fault. Anyway… you're gonna have to forget your own rules and do it yourself."

"Funny to hear you say that when you won't do it. 2 pair."

"I can't. I would have to be on the Master's post to do it. 3 of a kind. He likes you anyway, just throw him on the bed and give it to him until he can't walk anymore."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "What if… what if he asks…?"

"If he asks you fucking tell him! I know for a fact that we Seto Kaiba can be a lot of things, but coward isn't one of them."

"Hn… I'm pretty sure you did some coward things here and there, but whatever. And how can I tell him when I don't even know it myself?"

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true. Full House."

"…You really like that Star Wars bullshit, huh. 4 of a kind."

"Oh, you beat me again. Nice. Look, I'm gonna do something incredibly sweet for you now right now, but don't hold it against me. Give me your laptop."

Kaiba handed him the laptop, keeping an eye on what he was doing. He loaded a music video on YouTube.

_Goddamn you half-Japanese girls_

_Do it to me every time_

_Oh the redhead said you shred the cello_

"This doesn't make any sense."

"Shhh!"

The song went on, and Kaiba paid attention to it against his will. A while after it was over, B. had to break the silence.

"So? What have we learned?"

"That… I'm the turkey and he's the bacon?"

"Okay. We're watching it again."

"No, there's no need for that. I got it, alright? But the thing is… how can I be sure? I never felt this before. What if I'm just lusting after him?"

"Well, so what? Bang him anyway. You've got nothing to lose. It's even easier than in the song, since you know he likes you."

"I don't, but he… I'm not like you, okay? I would never do it just for my own satisfaction."

"So you care about him."

"Of course I care about him. I just… I just don't know if I… if I'm…"

"You still can't say it, can you? You're in love with him. You're not in love with him. You wanna bang him. You want a blowj—"

"Shut up! Besides, if I ever gonna say… that, it'll be to him."

"Awww. How kay-ou-te! Look at me! Are you blushing? C'mon, tell me you'll try. I wanna go Yoda with _do or do not_."

Kaiba ignored him, his face indeed red, whether he was blushing, whether he was pissed off at B. for being such a little prick, didn't matter. "Royal fucking Flush. Can you beat that, Master?"

"It seems I have nothing more to teach you, my padawan."

"Go fuck yourself. Ah, no. Bad choice of words. Let go of me!"

oOo

"Ow. You didn't have to kick me. After all I've done for you. Ow. Now I'll never have descendants."

"You're gay, you weren't going to screw any woman anyway."

"I'm not gay, I'm just… a pervert. I'll bang anyone if they're hot enough. But yeah, I do prefer the D. Girls can be interesting too, I mean, two holes right next—"

"I don't care!"

"Okay, okay. Geez, such a prude."

"Yeah, yeah. Oh great, now I'm starting to sound like you."

"It's a nice thing if you ask me."

"If there were two Kaibas like you, you would set the world on fire."

"You say it like it's a bad thing. This world is completely dull anyway."

"Yours may be, but I like mine. Besides, you're just bitching because you're not in control anymore."

"Guess so. Your world does seem interesting. What is that Dual Monsters thing you were talking about before? I liked the sound of that."

"Duel. And no. Don't try to bond with me. What's even the use in you knowing about it?"

"Oh, c'mon. We're not doing anything until Puppy gets here anyway. Unless you wanna pass the time doing… something else." He winked deviously.

"…Fine. The… the first thing." They sat on the couch so Kaiba could look through his deck. He handed B. one of his Blue Eyes White Dragon. "Be careful with that. This may look like a kids' game, but it's one of the most profitable industries in my world. And there are a thousand different and complicated rules, so it's not as easy as Poker, and…"

B. wasn't listening anymore. He seemed hypnotized by the card in his hand. Kaiba noticed it with a proud smile. "Nice, isn't it? And there is only three of it in the world, and they're all mine."

He wasn't counting Yugi's grandpa's card because that one didn't mean anything to him. He felt it when he had all four of them.

"What… what is this dragon? It's like I can feel her inside of me. And not in a kinky way."

Kaiba took the card back jealously. "You feel it too? Well, there's no way around it, you really are me. There isn't… she's important to me. And… the way I feel about her and the way I feel about Wheeler… I don't know, it's similar, but I can't explain… hey!"

"Let me hold it again! I… I want it for myself!" B. reached for the deck, trying to get it off Kaiba's hands.

"I _just_ said—let go! Ever since day one! Are you trying to steal all that's mine?"

"I am you, you know. What's yours, is mine."

"Like hell!" They rolled around the carpet while Kaiba defended his deck, but everything stopped when he noticed the door was open and that Joey was watching them. He wore an outfit similar to Kaiba's only in grey and white.

"You… how long have you been standing there?"

Joey turned beet red and suddenly couldn't remember how to speak.

"I… y-you…"

"Got it!"

The moment B. grabbed the deck, Kaiba head-butted him.

"Are you ready? We leave as soon as he wakes up."

"I… y-you…"

"Yeah. Okay." _Great._ _Hope he didn't hear much_.

TBC

**_+ Alright, ehh… so I think the Blue Eyes is a girl, you know, kinda like Kisara. Just go with it. And of course, she's Red Eyes' giiirlfriend :D think nothing of Kaiba(s) being able to sense her, it's just something I've always wanted to include in a fanfic. It won't show up again. Well, maybe in another story…_**

**_+ The video is Weezer's "El Scorcho". I didn't put up the lyrics for the song 'cause honestly, when there are lyrics in the middle of a fanfic, I instantly skip them. But in this case, it fits, kinda._**

**_+ I haven't played Poker in a while (or Duel Monsters for that matter) but I can tell you the hands, the one at the bottom is the lowest (duh) and the one at the top is the strongest._**

**_Royal Flush_**

**_Straight Flush_**

**_4 of a Kind_**

**_Full House_**

**_Flush_**

**_Straight_**

**_3 of a Kind_**

**_2 Pair_**

**_1 Pair_**

**_Highest Card_**

**_+ I'm not gonna explain what each of them mean or how to play, if you don't know, you don't need to, I won't make any detailed duels anyway, so don't worry about it. It is an awesome game, though, if you wanna learn about it. And remember, kids: Fair play, fair duel._**

**_+ I'm treating 'game of Poker' as 'duel' here, to trace a parallel between the two worlds. Poker is there what Duel Monsters is in the Yu-Gi-Oh! world after all._**


	10. Demoned Away

_**A.N - I'm sure some of you know, but the "Manage Stories" tab wasn't working, so that's why I didn't upload this one sooner.**_

**10. Demoned Away**

"I really could use an aspirin right now, you know."

"Your fighting skills are shit."

"Fighting skills? What fighting skills? I've always had my securities doing all the fighting for me."

"…You really are a rich spoiled brat, aren't you?" Kaiba gave him an aspirin.

"Hey, speaking of money, who makes more money, a ho or a dealer?"

"Oh, not again."

"The ho, 'cause she can always wash her crack and sell it again."

Kaiba just shook his head, depressed to see his own face saying things like that.

"Let's just move on already." He checked the dimension machine in his hand. "So… it can only take two people at a time? That's convenient."

"That's what it said on the book. You don't wanna end up in the End of Time, do you? I don't make the rules. Well, usually I do, but unfortunately not this time."

"Yeah, okay. We'll go first, then I'll come back to take Wheeler." Kaiba shot him a look that said, _and no, there's no discussing this._ "Let's go then. We'll have to do it from outside the gates so he'll think we came from somewhere else."

They left the mansion and stopped around the corner. Luckily Kaiba didn't have any neighbours that could possibly witness them vanishing into thin air.

"It's like this there too, right? Nobody is going to see us showing up out of nowhere?"

"Nope. Just like it."

"Okay." He turned to Joey. "You stay here. I'll be back for you in a minute." He noticed his  
Duel Monsters deck was still in his pocket and whispered in his ear. "Take care of this for me. I don't trust that bastard won't try to get it again." He handed it to Joey.

Joey seemed lost in his own world so he only nodded and put the deck in his pocket.

"Let's go."

oOo

_The way I feel about her and the way I feel about Wheeler… I don't know, it's similar, but I can't explain._

_Ever since day one! Are you trying to steal all that's mine?_

Kaiba's words echoed in his mind. Joey felt anaesthetized. He leaned on the wall of the house, unconsciously touching the deck in his pocket.

_Take care of this for me._

He tried with difficulty to make sense of his thoughts.

_The Blue Eyes… _

_The way he feels about… _

_All that's his… _

_His… _

_I'm…_

He suddenly knocked on his head a few times with both hands. "Nooooo! Poker! I need to think only about Poker right now. This… this comes later."

oOo

"How do we do this? Have you come up with a plan or will I have to think of one myself? And won't he try to, I don't know, arrest you or something?"

"Ha-ha. Puppy is a feisty one. He'll probably throw me on the floor and try to have his way with me the second he sees me. You should probably stay on guard just in case he figures out you're also me."

"What stops me from kicking his ass?"

"Loads of armed security."

"Loads? Hmm. I could deal with a few, but not with loads. Right. I'll go get Wheeler then."

"You know, now that we're alone, what say you and I—"

"_Don't_ make me regret this. I could simply stay there and you'd be stuck here with whatever fate that awaits you."

"Sor-ry. You're really no fun. Fine, I won't ask again."

Kaiba rolled his eyes and turned on the machine. "Somehow I doubt that."

When he got back to his own world, he wondered if Joey had turned insane as well.

"Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker. That's it. Just Poker. Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker-Poker— word just lost all meaning."

"What are you doing?"

"Poker—gah! I uh… I was getting focused."

"…Right. C'mon, let's go. The sooner I do this, the sooner that moron can disappear from our lives."

That was motivation enough for Joey. Kaiba looked like he had something else in his mind. He diverted his gaze as he touched Joey's arm so they could cross. "You look nice."

Joey could only gape at the person who had said it, unsure of how to react.

oOo

"Alright, we're all here. Explain the plan if you have one."

"I'll ring the bell. We tell the whole story about how I got lost, or lost my memory… can't decide which, and then I met you guys, and you thought it would be interesting to, since you know a little about Poker, play a little game with the Master. Or something along those lines. I don't know, I really prefer making things up as I go along."

"Yeah. Wonderful. I'll take care of it. And I'm staying with the machine. If there's any sign of threat for me or Wheeler, we're leaving on the spot."

"Aw, don't be so cold to your twinner. At least promise you'll come rescue me if I get caught."

Kaiba stuck a finger in front of B.'s face. "We owe you nothing. You just turn up one day and start playing with our lives, and now you want me to show you mercy? Fat chance. Even helping you is more kindness than you deserve."

B. pouted. "Booo. You're so boring. Sometimes it baffles me to think we are the same person. Alright, let's go then, my pretties."

"Yeah, well, it baffles me all the damn time."

"Can I hit him just once?"

"Oh, is Puppy speaking again? I'd give you a doggy biscuit if I had one. Here. Shake." He held out his hand to Joey. Joey punched him on the head.

"Hey, would you two stop with all the violence?"

"Says the guy who almost gave me a concussion."

"Er… right. What are we still doing here anyway? Oh, don't forget to control your voices so you won't sound like us. Though the way my Puppy speaks is… well, you'll see." B. rung the intercom and inhaled deeply. "EXCUUUUSE MEEE. IS THE MASTER HOOOME?"

Kaiba scowled. "Agh. Does he have to do things like that wearing my face?"

Joey put his hands on his shoulders to try and comfort him. "Just think it's almost over."

Kaiba surprised him by taking one of his hands and holding it between them. Then he whispered in his ear again, to make sure B. wouldn't hear: "That means soon you'll be all mine."

Before Joey could even think about whether his brain was actually melting or not, or if the Kaibas had switched place somehow, a group of guards showed up and surrounded them. B. flashed a fierce smile.

"Game on."

**TBC**

**_Ehh… even if I won't (?) have it happen in my story, I kinda wanna see some (Seto) Kaiba on Kaiba action right now… is there any? That is not Kaiba x Seth?_**


End file.
